The Nooner (July 7) -- Rapid Fireworks

It was another win on the 4th of July for Colorado with New York this time playing the role of lambs being led to the slaughter. Goal.com’s Kyle McCarthy rips the Red Bulls in his Monday MLS Breakdown. Can we start taking bets on who will be their next head coach?

Elsewhere on Friday, New England showed the best in the East is twice as good as the West while Kansas City and Dallas proved the teams that suck, suck equally.

Saturday provided the most entertaining match as Columbus came from behind to tie Chicago. And then Chivas and San Jose promptly put the Nooner to sleep in the nightcap.

As the transfer rumors continue, Brad Friedel may follow his former boss, Mark Hughes, to Manchester City. Finally! Something about Manchester the Nooner can root for.

Here’s your daily Cristiano Ronaldo (who is having surgery) update: Real Madrid Prez Ramon Calderon says United have a chance to make history, but is flip flopping more than John Kerry. And here’s something to day dream about while you’re avoiding work today.

ManU may have an old face back in the mix as Eric Cantona wants to coach. Crystal Palace fans are now fine with not being promoted this season.

Inter are finalizing their plans to snare a pair of Chelsea men as they have faxed a £6.5 million bid for Frank Lampard, while Didier Drogba has apparently agreed to join the Nerazzurri. The only question is how much will Luis Jimenez get for the #11 shirt from Drogba?

AC Milan are set to make a €30 million for Emmanuel Adebayor. For that he can wear any number he wants. Well, any except number three.

Brazil boss Dunga claimed Milan goalkeeper Dida is the best in the world at his position. He then exhaled and looked for some Funyuns.

The Nooner would pay attention to the Chinese Super League if all headlines were as good as this one.

In other news…

Joey Chestnut beat Takeru Kobayashi in the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating contest for the second straight year, this time in an eat off. Some things are not meant for HD.

Spain continued dominating international competitions as Rafa Nadal ended Roger Federer’s five-year run at Wimbledon. Fortunately, he was classier than his futbol compatriots in celebrating the victory.

Britain’s High Court ruled that Pringles aren’t a potato snack and cannot be taxed as such. Pringles wouldn’t have been taxed had they made tennis balls either.

Comedian Jim Gaffigan turns 42 today and is celebrating right meow.